Things That Make You Go Hmm...

A few summers ago, I went to Musikfest with Chanin. Musikfest, is a giant music festival that takes over downtown Bethlehem for about ten days. You can listen to just about any kind of music, and the food is not bad either.

This particular time, I didn't want to go. I had laryngitis. I could not speak one word, not even a whisper. Chanin and I both know how to spell in sign language, so she convinced me it would be OK. I reluctantly agreed to go.

Once at Musikfest we went to grab dinner, the place was packed. There were a few seats open at a table with a rabbi, and a few of his friends. Chanin asked if it would be alright for us to join them, because seating was so limited. We had never seen these people in our life. I nodded my head hello, and they had no idea that I did not have a voice.

We enjoyed our food in silence. The rabbi and his friends, continued in their own conversations. All of a sudden Chanin taps her watch and says, "It's time to get you back to the institution!" The rabbi and friends look at us intently, I open my mouth to object, and all that comes out is a "squeak". Then Chanin proceeds to say, "Don't start to get violent, I will give you that tranquelizor by injection, you know I have done that before." Then she tells the other people, "She's prone to voilence if she doesn't get her meds on time. I need to get her back to the psychiatric unit quickly." I'm waving my hands like crazy trying to communicate, to sign, and the strangers at our table are quickly gathering their things to run away.

They were scared. If you could have seen the looks on their faces. Everything I did just made the situation worse. They quickly left, and Chanin laughed and laughed. I didn't think it was funny until about three days later.

When Chanin and I were still friends, we went out to the club. At the time I was living in Hawaii, and I had come home for a visit.

I was downstairs by the pool tables while Chanin was upstairs dancing. I had a crowd of about 10 people around me because I told one person I lived in Hawaii, and then they were telling everyone else. Everyone was asking me questions, and I was having fun answering.

I don't smoke, but someone offered me a cigarette. I despise cigarettes, but for some reason I started to smoke it. It was stupid I know, but I did it.

Now Chanin, she is very verbally aggressive. She would never hit me or anything, but believe me she talks about it. It's part of her boisterous personality. It fits her, and is somehow her charm.

Growing up, I always told her, "Girl, you have the mouth of a truck driver!" Then I would always go on to say, "You could make a truck driver blush!" Do you know what her job is now? She's a truck driver. And she has made one or two of them blush.

She's like me with travel. We definitely have that in common. We have to travel. She drove her truck up to Canada, from Pennsylvania to California, and all the way down to Mexico. Making friends and enemies the entire way. She is very loved, and very hated all because of what comes out of her mouth. She is brilliantly funny, but it's always at someone elses expense. Not everyone likes that.

Back to the club, Chanin comes walking down the stairs, and sees me with my little crowd of people, and she wants in on the action! Chanin has to have more attention than I do. It's like a competition for her.

Chanin sees me smoking that cigarette, grabs it out of my hand, throws me down on the couch and grabs me by the back of my hair. She puts the cigarette up to my eye and says, "Do you want me to burn your (cuss word) eye out! Do you? Do you? You are such an idiot." She used some other words that I would rather not mention. The people were aghast. One of the guys started to jump in and help me.

It didn't hurt me at all, she didn't want to hurt me, just humiliate me, and I was doing my best to keep from laughing. I knew she was mad at me for smoking, but mostly she wanted the attention. I played along like I was real scared, and she kept ripping into me. The guy that helped me said, "She's from Hawaii!" Chanin said, "She's not from Hawaii, she's from Pennsylvania!" Then she called me some four letter words and a name that ended in "hole". I stood up and composed myself.

I had to pull out my drivers license to prove I lived in Hawaii. There was the rainbow, my picture, and my address ending with Honolulu, Hawaii 96815.

Chanin was trying to make me look bad because she wanted the attention. I know her so well that it was actually fun. I would never do something like that and it felt like I was in a movie.

I don't know if Chanin was listening before she started her antics, but I do know that fake burning someones eye out sure tops Hawaii to the crowd!

She had more than double my crowd watching her antics, and we laughed about it all the way home.

My longest friend, Chanin, whom I loved dearly I had to cut out of my life. I had to do it because as much as I love her, she sucks the life out of me.

She always wants something from everyone and nothing is ever good enough for her. I put up with it because she is never boring.

Regardless, I spent most of my life with her as my friend, so many of my stories need to include her.

I bought a book this weekend from the Images of America series titled "Bath and It's neighbors", and who is on page 93? Chanin and her sister Jennifer. She was four years old, and it was the year I met her.

I see that little face and I remember what she did in Kindergarten one year later.

It was the beginning of the school year, and Chanin dressed herself for school. She put on her new miniskirt. She was so cute and excited to go to school. Her Mother was so proud of how she had dressed herself that morning.

Her Mom took her out to the bus stop and waved as the school bus drove away.

Soon, the bus pulled into the school. It was time for Chanin to get off the bus. When she went to stand up, she stuck to the seat. It was at that time she realized she wasn't wearing any panties! At the tender age of five, Chanin was mortified.

During class, the teacher asked the kids to sit around in a circle for story time. In Kindergarten you had to sit "Indian style" it was the rule. Chanin refused. She did her best to keep that miniskirt pulled down while kneeling during story time.

The teacher persisted, but when Chanin refused and almost broke into tears, the teacher gave in to Chanin's wishes. Phew! She made it through the day without anyone finding out her secret. Talk about trauma!

Today, if she forgot to wear her panties I'm sure she wouldn't keep it a secret. Raaare!