Tuesday, May 30, 2006

New Revelation: When I am nervous, I giggle

I never realized before that when I get nervous, I have fits of the giggles. Uncontrollable giggles.

I was the lead flight attendant, and we were on this 737-500 that doesn't have monitors. You need to do a manual safety demo. I know, how old fashioned!

Even before the safety demo I started saying the most stupid stuff. Like, the plane is under the control of the captain. Huh? And that people had safety cards in their pockets, and that they needed to sew their cell phones.

As I'm saying these stupid things I'm giggling over the PA non-stop. At one point, the entire plane was laughing at me. I felt so embarrassed. The more nervous I became, the more I giggled. Tears were streaming down my red face as I would almost hyperventilate from the laughter.

One of the flight attendants would laugh every time I said "Thank You" because she said I sounded like Paris Hilton. Then, another flight attendant came up to me and said a passenger said "I hope the whole crew isn't drunk!" I felt like a fool and laughed harder and louder. It was awful!

Later, passengers were confronting me about it. I was told it was cute by one, given a gift from another (a helicopter pin), and received a hand shake and told I was "cool" from another. That made me feel better.

So if you're ever flying and some fool is on the PA laughing and saying "Thank You" in a baby voice, it's probably me. Just remember I'm not drunk, just nervous.
Sunday, May 21, 2006

Oh, that Tomato Juice!

Today was an unusual day. Things were just going down hill. I couldn't stop laughing though. Nothing bothered me.

I am on this five day trip with one of my friends. She always makes me laugh! Today when we were on our way to Tampa, she was telling me how every time she opens a can of tomato juice it sprays all over her hand. She asked me if that happens to me. I said, "Nope, never."

Well, the next thing I know, a customer asks for a tomato juice. I open the can and it sprays all over his FACE. I pointed at my friend Odemaris, and said I'm sorry it's her fault! I never had that problem until she mentioned it! Then, Odemaris says, "Yeah, I was talking about my hand, not someone's face!" I'm laughing uncontrollably, so is she and all the rows around this guy with Tomato Juice on his face.

Thankfully he was a good sport. I felt bad, but it didn't stop me from laughing. He was laughing too. I'm going to be more careful with that Tomato Juice from now on.
Thursday, May 18, 2006

Jane get me off this crazy thing!

That is what I say at the end of every flight. I take it back! I take it back!

I've been home for five days now and it's sucking the life out of me. Get me back on a plane! I don't even care if it's a 737 with a slimy girt bar.

Don't get me wrong, I love having my kitchen and cooking up a storm and all, but there are only so many ways to cook chicken.

My last trip was to Punta Cana Dominican Republic, then Miami, and on to NYC. I miss my maid service! I want to live out of my suitcase. I don't need all that crap in my closet at home.

I ate goat in Punta Cana. I forgot that I don't like it. It had that hairy odor. Did you ever smell goat hair? It smells something like I imagine Bigfoot to smell like.

The Dominican Republic has this fabulous fruit there. It tastes like a sour patch kid covered in snot. Not that I know what snot tastes like, but you know, the slimy consistency of it. By the end of the trip I was addicted to it. They said it was called chenola. I don't know if I'm spelling it correctly. But I sure am hungry for it again.

I get so depressed when I am at home. Boo hoo, nobody is paying me to kayak or lay on the beach. I can't wait to get back to work on Sunday, I wonder where I'll go.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Puerto Rico was eventful...

I was in Puerto Rico the other day. I went to the beach with another flight attendant.

We're walking the beach and there is a dude in a thong. Ewww. We just kept walking, somewhat disgusted. When it was time to turn back, we eventually came to the thong guy again, and he's naked! This is a family beach it's no nude beach.

The girl I was with says, "Mira! Put some clothes on. That's offensive! If you had something to show then maybe, but you got nothin''." He's all, why? Then he bends over to pick up a shell. He was facing us, but not with his face, dude!

This girl, she's pretty, her voice is a little gruff, she has this strong New York accent. She's muscular and in shape too. Not overly muscular, but she's in shape.

With that said, we are at the beach and this little boy says to me, "is that a man?" I look around thinking I know he's not talking about her. I'm like huh? Then the boy says to her, "Hey! Are you a man?" She says, no! Why? Do I look like a man?" The boy says "yeah." I can't contain myself and I'm laughing like crazy. She says, "I'm not a man, but I think that I better get off this beach now!"

The kid was cute and she thought it was funny. I think I would have cried. I left Puerto Rico with the worst sunburn of my life, but I haven't laughed so hard in ages.

Yo Quiero Taco Bell

I stopped in at Taco Bell last night on my way home from work. It's my favorite Taco Bell because they put pride into the way they prepare the food.

It's like your home, you walk in, all the girls are so cheerful and ask how I am doing. I'm waiting for my burrito and smiling. One of the girls comment "We're really busy tonight!" I'm just ready to say "It's busy because you gals do such a good job!"

Before I can get that out of my mouth I hear a voice from the back of the kitchen yell, "That's because people are so stinkin' lazy and don't know how to cook!" I'm taken aback and don't know whether to be offended or to say true that.

Oh well, he was probably the manager. The girls there are still really nice. For the record, I do know how to cook and I'm not lazy, I was still 45 minutes away from home and really hungry, so there.

Search This Blog


I wear my embarrassing moments on my sleeve. Thanks for stopping by!

My Current Fixation:

Making The World A Better Place
One nice word, and one smile at a time. - Deanna

Want to Hear me tell the stories?

Things That Make You Go Hmm, To Go