Monday, November 27, 2006

Life's Fantastic, When You're Plastic

I was doing my airport appreciation again, and with who else but that ridiculious flight attendant I met last week. Ridiculious is a good way...

We found out we have something in common. Both of our Mothers have had so much plastic surgery! We kept laughing saying, "My Mother had this done", then the other person would say, "So did mine!" And we would laugh and laugh.

His Mother lives in Brazil, so I guess it's more accessable there than Pennsylvania. Reguardless, I do think my Mother has had the most work done.

I probably would never get any plastic surgery. I would prefer to spend the money on a personal trainer and a nutrtionist than to get lipo suction or a tummy tuck.

My Mother is so vain, but I guess I should thank her that my ears don't stick out. She used to tape them back to the sides of my head when I was a baby. They don't stick out anymore. My brothers ears do, but he didn't have his ears taped back.

I think face lifts look too tight, and fake breasts look to hard. Ashlee Simpson sure looks pretty with her new nose, but I don't think I could ever put myself in the position where I would allow a person to mess with my looks. Well, maybe if it were Michelangelo, but he's dead.
Saturday, November 18, 2006

Airport Appreciation

Yesterday, I had to sit at the airport, waiting to be assigned a trip. I was hoping they wouldn't call me. Actually I was praying. I wanted the weekend off. Everytime the phone rang, I held my breath hoping that my name wasn't called.

After three hours, about fifteen of the twenty flight attendants waiting were called out, Florida, Ireland, Paris, Tel Aviv, any other time, it could have been exciting but I didn't want to fly. There were only five of us left for the rest of the night.

Things were starting to get quiet, and this male flight attendant whom I've never met says to me, "Do you think that the alter boys who didn't get molested think, is there something wrong with me? Why didn't the priest ask me to dig a lollipop out of his pocket?"

After I heard that, I was all ears, finally someone who is as ridiculous as I am. For the record, I told him, "No I don't think the altar boys did develop a complex."

They were fumigating our crew room, and we had to leave and go to operations. That was pretty cool. What a beautiful view of the city. We were up in the tower, watching the planes land. They didn't end up needing us, so we were able to go home.

That was a good waste of four hours. Hopefully one day I will get to fly with that ridiculous guy.
Friday, November 17, 2006

My Pets Act Like Animals

You know those stories about how animals alert humans to danger? All the stories you hear about amazing things that dogs and cats can do to help humans.

Not mine. This morning, I was watching television, and I hear something that sounds like water running. I mute the television, and realize it's the dog and cat wrestling around playing.

I think nothing of it and go back to watching my program. A commercial comes on, and I drag my butt out to the kitchen to do the dishes. I get out there, and the dog and cat are splashing around in about two inches of water playing! My washing machine broke and the kitchen was flooding.

Do you think the dog or cat could have let me know? Do you think the dog could have barked or something? No, they make it their own personal water park. Two hours later, I have all the water cleaned up, and now the dog and cat are sleeping exhausted from playing in the water.

Oh well, at least my kitchen floor is so clean right now it sparkles.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Not it!

I guess I'm not the marrying type. I'm not one of those women who dreams about the house with the white picket fence. I don't even want that. I think I'd be more content to live in a warehouse. I like my space.

I really thought I was among the minority of women until I went to my cousins wedding. Traditionally when a bride gets married, at the reception she blindly throws her bouquet out to a group of single women. As the tradition goes, whichever woman catches the bouquet, she will be the next to get married.

I didn't even want to get up, but I was poked and prodded until I joined the crowd of about fifty women to go catch the bouquet. My cousin turns away from the crowd, so she couldn't see who she was throwing it to. She tosses her lovely bouquet of flowers into the air, and without any discussion ALL of the women run away from it. The bouquet lands on the floor like a dead rat!

Unbelievable. I remember going to wedding receptions as a child, and the women would fight to catch the bouquet. I guess I'm not the only woman who does not want to get married. Hilarious.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Table For One

I've been gone for awhile. I have been working a lot and loving it. I have been all over the country, and never had any time to blog about it!

I was in Las Vegas for a few days, and I got to see BODIES...The Exhibition it is incredible! Bodies are preserved with a special technique that allows us a peek inside real bodies. They pose them, and cut them exposing the inner workings of the human body.

Usually when I'm on trip, I hang out with my crew. For some reason, the crew didn't spend any time together, and I was on my own. I enjoy being by myself, so I was happy either way.

I was looking forward to Korean Barbecue. I walked into the restaurant, and they sat me at a table for about twenty people. It was in front of the restaurant, and I was all alone at this gigantic table. There were plenty of tables for two around, but I don't think they thought I was worth sitting at a nice table because I was alone. People kept looking at me, and I was trying to smile, and be polite.

Someone finally brought me a menu, and I kept picturing the food as human organs so I decided to leave. The noodles made me think of intestines, and it wasn't pretty.

So I'm walking around Vegas, looking for something to eat. None of the restaurants appealed to me. I spotted a Denny's. I don't really like Denny's, but you know what you're going to get. No surprises there. At that point, I was only planning on getting a salad anyway.

I went inside, and was seated at a nice little table for two. The waitress came and took my order. Before she left, I asked her where the restroom was, and she pointed it out to me.

I come back from the restroom, and there were two people sitting at my table! I was so mad. They gave my table away! There was a young couple seated at a table near by, and they said, "We knew you were going to be angry!" I was so upset, and said, "Can't a person go out to eat alone without being humiliated?" I was somewhat emotional from seeing BODIES...The Exhibition, just an hour earlier. I saw a pile human skin tanned like leather, and I was feeling quite raw myself.

The couple speaking to me were really sweet and invited me to sit with them. They were in their twenties, and the husband was an amputee. I sat down, and enjoyed their company for the rest of the dinner.

I went from almost crying in front of a restaurant, to laughing and having a good time. I held it together thinking, if this guy can sit in a wheel chair and be this charismatic, I can get over thinking I am so important that my table shouldn't have been given away. It's amazing how I can control my emotions when I don't think the universe revolves around me.

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I wear my embarrassing moments on my sleeve. Thanks for stopping by!

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