Thursday, August 31, 2006

Friends, Everybody Needs Them

Friends, you've got to love them. I have different friends for different parts of my personality.

What reminded me of this was, this past week I was in Chicago or "Chi Town" . Which was fantastic by the way! Our crew was picked up at the airport in a stretch limo. Then, we were chauffeured downtown to a very upscale hotel. I love my job.

My friend Yoshi lives in Chi Town. I had not seen him in ages, and I was pretty excited to have some time with my friend. The thing about Yoshi is, he was the person that planted the seed in my head to become a flight attendant. He is a flight attendant for another airline. I didn't think I could do it and he said something like, "Please, it ain't rocket science. You would be good at it."

Yoshi picked me up shortly after I arrived at the hotel. We went out to lunch and hung out for a couple of hours. We laughed the entire time. I don't know what it is about him, but he brings out the comedian in me. I usually not that funny, but when I hang out with him, I'm practically doing stand up. My timing is perfect, I'm doing dead on impersonations of people, and all of a sudden I'm doing these fantastic monologues. Perhaps they are better in my mind than they are in reality but I did have him laughing the entire time.

This brought to mind my other dear friends, and I was thinking about how I act with each one of them. They bring out the best in me in all different areas, with each one making me a better person. Not only do they make me a better person, but they make me value myself.

My advice to anyone is find the friends that add to you and spend more quality time with them, and find the friends that subtract from you and give them less time. It goes both ways and life is too short to not fully enjoy it.
Saturday, August 26, 2006

Keep your eyes on your own plate!

This is kind of embarrassing but, it's funny so here goes...

First of all I'd like to say the restaurants where I live aren't very good. With that said, I was out at dinner with my boyfriend, and all of a sudden, the waiter brings out a glorious plate of nachos to the table behind us.

I was oohing and ahhing licking my lips, saying mmmmmm, that looks good, oh yeah. The nachos were piled so high with steak, avocado, jalapenos, onions, Monterey Jack and Cheddar Cheese.

In my defense, avocados and jalapenos are my favorite food. My boyfriend is all, "Can you control yourself?" I'm like, "Look at that would you! It looks so good."

Then I realize what he is talking about, it's a table full of guys that ordered the nachos, and they were all thinking I was talking about them! They were trying to get my attention after that, smiling at me, and trying to say hi.

Talk about embarrassing!
Thursday, August 24, 2006

Only in New York

Sometimes you just know when it's OK to do something that should otherwise be forbidden.

I was in New York City with a friend of mine. We went to the comedy club and were walking back to my car alone at 2:00 in the morning in Manhattan. We were trying to flag down a taxi without any luck.

We had about twenty blocks to go, and a Lincoln Town Car pulls up beside us, and a bunch of Latino guys wearing tuxedos asked us if we would like a ride. It was like a party car, with music blasting and they smelled really good.

My friend, who had never been to New York City before said "No thank you". She thought they were gangsters. I said, "They are wearing tuxedos, give me a break. Gangsters wear suits. Let's go with them, we're safer in the car with them than walking alone here in our high heels."

There were three of them in the front, and we sat in the back. They were so nice. It turns out the guys were a salsa band from Brazil. They were playing their CD, we were jamming out to their salsa music, and they even had autographed posters of themselves that they gave to us.

I knew she got the gangster idea from watching Scarface, so I told my friend, see they are from Brazil not Colombia. She just laughed and was glad we took the ride.

Before they dropped us off, they extended an invitation to have their limo pick us up for their performance in the Bronx the following Friday.

We politely turned it down not wanting to push our luck, but that was so much more fun than taking a taxi!
Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Man Who Cried Wolf

So I was on a flight the other day, and there was this customer... He was so needy. He wouldn't stop ringing his flight attendant call button.

Ding! I run over to see what he needs. "Could I have a tissue?" I get him a tissue. Five minutes later, Ding! "I could really use a Coke." I get him a coke. Five minutes after that, Ding! Can you take away my trash? This went on a few more times, pretzels, water, a blanket, a pillow. He was working my last nerve, but I kept a smile on my face.

Myself and another flight attendant had finished our service and were in the back galley chatting and eating our lunch. Ding! I look out into the cabin and Mr. Needy had rang his call button again. I said, "I'm not running out there, he can wait until I finish eating." I was almost finished eating anyway.

About three or four minutes later I went out to see what he needs. He motions me to come close. I move in closer to hear him. He asks me to come closer and I'm thinking if this guy is going to try and kiss me he's got another thing coming.

He whispers in my ear, "I need oxygen, FAST!" He's about to pass out, and he is sweating profusely. Oh crap! I ran and grabbed a portable oxygen bottle in two seconds flat, strapped that baby on him and got him stabilized. I never had to administer oxygen before. Whew!

I felt bad that I had made him wait until he was ready to pass out, but if he didn't use that call button to ask me if he had any broccoli in his teeth I may have been more eager to see what he needed. So now I call him, "The Man Who Cried Wolf."
Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Sidewalk Chalk

I was driving over to the barn today, and as I was driving up the street, I noticed all the construction.

It made me sad because they were chopping down the trees that I used to climb, and putting houses in the fields where I have always ridden my horses.

When I was growing up, there were only four houses on that street, and the street was a dirt road. They paved it when I was about ten years old. At that time I wished there were more kids in the neighborhood, I had not realized the gift I had been given of growing up surrounded by farmland.

A memory that popped into my head today as I was driving, was of me and my two childhood friends Chanin and Jennifer. We were so happy that our road was paved! Now we could ride our bikes on a smooth road!

We would meet about halfway between my house and theirs, and along the way we would always find white sidewalk chalk on the side of the road. We would be so happy, drawing on our newly paved road, remarking "Who is leaving us this chalk here all the time? It's so great!" This went on for about a year.

Then one day, we found a piece of chalk, and it was half white and half brown. It was that day that we found out who was leaving us the chalk. It was Poochie, a Jack Russell Terrier that lived at the farm down the street!

Our sidewalk chalk was Dog Poop! We were so grossed out, we never wrote with that chalk again.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Potty Mouth

The other day, I was riding in the car with my Sister and her four kids. I was telling my sister Leanne a story about a guy who did something terrible.

When I finished the story my sister exclaimed "Why would he do such a thing!"

Because the kids were in the car I decided to spell out the bad word. I said, "Because he is a B-A-S-T-A-R-D."

My oldest niece who is nine, turned to me and said, "I can spell!" I said "Uh oh, I'm sorry I shouldn't have used that word." I then said, "At least none of the other kids can spell." Just then my other niece, Alexa who is eight said to me, "Annie, (the kids call me Annie) did you say he was a (and she spelled) A-S-S-H-O-L-E?"

My face turned bright red, and all my sister and I could do was laugh. I will never spell a bad word in front of kids again!
Saturday, August 12, 2006

You Think You're Family Is Complicated, Try Mine

I've been wanting to do this for awhile now. Whenever I mention my family to any of my friends, they can never get it straight. I have to explain for a half an hour and they are still confused.

Then, I had a request for a "Flow Chart", and I thought, hey, what a great idea...

I know, you're probably thinking, why do you need a flow chart? Read on, and you will see why.

My Biological Mother: Susan
Born to an Italian Father, and a Polish Mother, so she is half Italian, half Polish.

Not so bad.

My Biological Father: Dave
Born to a Polish Father, and an Italian Mother, so he is half Italian, half Polish.

Making me half Italian, half Polish, sounds simple right?

When I was three, my parents divorced, my mother remarried, "Larry" who is 100% Pennsylvania Dutch. He adopted me by age 5. So whenever I say "Dad" that's who I am talking about. My Dad is Dutch, but I'm not, and now that explains that question.

Larry had a son from a previous marriage named Gary. So that is one brother.

Then, my Mother and Father (Larry) had my Sister, Leanne. So when I tell people my sister is Dutch, but I'm not, that explains the question. "But you have the same Dad???" "Yeah, but I'm half Italian, and half Polish."

It still wouldn't be so difficult to understand, but when I turned 21,my parents divorced, and my biological parents remarried, making me now have a "biological stepfather". Very strange I know. I call him Dave, because I don't know him as a father at all. I hadn't seen him for 18 years. It's all good, he's just not my Dad.

Dave remarried a 100% Pennsylvania Dutch woman when he and my Mother initially split up when I was three. Her name is Roxanne.

Roxanne and Dave (the biological step father) had three boys, Dave Jr., Dominick, and Derrick, so that's four brothers and one sister SO FAR.

Try to keep up here, because after my Mom and Dave remarried, my Dad did too.

He married Kerry, who is Italian and Pennsylvania Dutch, just how much of each I'm not sure. It doesn't really matter anyway, but it's part of the pattern.

Kerry had a daughter from a previous relationship named Rachel. My Dad adopted Rachel (just like me) so now I have two sisters. I don't know Rachels biological fathers name, but I bet it starts with an R. See a pattern here? That was good of the parents to help us out by matching the first letter of the child's name to the birth Fathers name. Well, except for Gary, but it rhymes with Larry, so it still helps.

But then... My Dad and Kerry had Larissa, my next sister, and finally about two months ago, Lucy was born, making my fourth sister.

Whew... So Kerry's my Stepmother, Larry's my Dad, Susan is my Mother, and Dave is my biological Stepfather.

I have four brothers (three half brothers, one by my adoption) and four sisters (one half sister and three by adoption) and I think that about covers it.

One thing I almost forgot, Kerrys Sister is married to my Cousin Joey. He's my "cousin uncle". That is another situation I always have to explain.

It's actually not as bad as it sounds. Joey's Mother is my maternal Aunt and Liz is my Stepmothers Sister, so they're not related. Once my Mom and Dad divorced, I guess Joey wasn't my Dad's nephew anymore.

My Grandparents were never divorced. None of them. All three sets of them remain or remained married.

What a difference a generation makes. Any questions?

The 17 Year Locust

This is a locust that I found in my garden. I think it's a 17 year locust. If it is, this poor little guy toiled underground for 17 years before he made his way to the surface.

He was there for a day, then the next day I went to look for him again, and all I could find was his exoskeleton. There was a puncture in the middle of his body, and his exoskeleton was perfectly intact.

I don't know if a bird ate him or he molted. Do they molt?

Then if it weren't already bad enough, I left his skeleton in the garden for my nieces to see, and they thought it was the coolest thing. That's not the bad part, the bad part is, a storm came and blew what was left of him away! 17 years of work down the drain.

I was so irritated with myself for not putting it into a jar or something. I wanted to show off the picture of him when he was alive. I'm glad I got to see something so ugly and cool, and now you can too.
Friday, August 11, 2006

But Mommy, You Hate Kids

I was talking with my daughter and somehow in our conversation I mentioned that I would like to maybe someday I would like to have another child. My daughter replied with "But Mommy, you hate kids!"

That took me aback because I love kids. Sure, it's funny when they fall down, or if they are whining and I see them get punished by their parents. But that's just fun stuff, nothing serious. I go all teary eyed when I see abusive parents.

I asked my daughter why she felt that way, and she said, "well you hate Kyla". Kyla is my 18 month old niece. I told her I don't hate her I love her! She is just naughty, but that's not her fault, it's my sisters fault because she lets her get away with it.

The exact incident can probably be traced to the other day my sister brought Kyla to my house. I'm an avid gardener, I've got flowers and plants everywhere. I like to grow things from seeds. I had some seeds starting in pots, and Kyla was dumping the pots as my sister looked on. I was chasing after Kyla for about a half an hour, I sat down on the hammock to relax, and Kyla grabbed the rosebush.

I couldn't get it out of my mouth fast enough "NO!" The thorn went right into her finger, and she was attached to my rosebush and couldn't get her finger off of the thorn.

My sister ran over and pulled her finger off with a "pop" and blood spurted through the air. I was laughing and saying to her, I told you not to touch things at Aunt Deanna's house. You need to listen.

I always laugh at inappropriate times, it was nothing personal. My daughter watched in horror, and told me I was being mean. I guess that's why she thinks I hate kids.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Glamorous Side Of Being a Flight Attendant

I went to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada yesterday and it was a celebrity laden flight. I've been to three countries and five states in the last six days.

We had The Dixie Chicks and Alicia Silverstone on board. I got everyone's autotgraphs and I told Alicia that I loved her. Did I go to far? I hope she understood I meant I loved her work, and not her personally. She is just so expressive with her face just like in Clueless, and so sweet. I felt like I was in a movie. The Dixie Chicks were very nice too.

The first officer was so funny, he said, "They just look like regular people." We were teasing him that there is no red carpet on the plane, and that hello, they are just regular people.

Times like that, I wish I had my camera!
Sunday, August 06, 2006

The not so glamorous side of being a flight attendant

I'm checking in to my hotel, and in walks a blind baseball team. They are holding 40's of beer in one hand, and canes in the other.

These people are drunk, laughing, and bumping into things shouting "This is the blind leading the blind!"

At first I thought it was funny. Hey, they were having a great time. What I didn't know is that they would be on my floor. They were so loud all night, their canes kept hitting my door, and the worst part of all they kept trying to get into my room accidentally! They would knock on my door and wake me up every fifteen minutes. It was the same story every time, "wrong room!" There is Braille on the door, but I guess they were too drunk to read.

Prior to that I went up to the crew room in the hotel. In walks this flight attendant from another airline, she flops down on the couch and says "What a day! I saw a complete stranger take a sh*t today."

At that moment I was sitting at the computer taking a drink of my water, when she said that I spit the water out of my mouth all over the floor. I was lucky it didn't come out my nose.

"What!" I said. She said, you know how people sometimes don't lock the door, we all nodded yes. "Well this guy was in the lavatory with the door unlocked, I opened the door and there he was wiping his a*s." She said she just said "sorry" and closed the door.

You know, I think I would rather be aggravated by drunk people than to have that happen.
Saturday, August 05, 2006

Maybe I should fly the plane

Just got back from Cancun, and was that place fun! I went on a snorkel tour with AquaWorld.

They take you through a national park and get this, IN THE OCEAN. I swam with a baby sea turtle, held star fish, and sea urchins, and I saw about 150 different fish. It was soooo amazing.

Anyway, that's not the story here. The crew was going to be meeting for dinner in the hotel lobby at 6:00 (PM). Our van was scheduled to pick us up at 5:40 the next morning, so we still had almost twelve hours left.

We are sitting in the lobby, and here comes the captain in FULL uniform and all of his luggage. He went to the front desk to check out and Caroline, another flight attendant says "Bud?" With a complete look of bewilderment on her face. She's thinking he got reassigned and had to leave early. Bud says, "Where's the van!?!" We're in plain clothes mind you. Caroline says, "The van is not picking us up until tomorrow. I don't know about you, but we're going to dinner."


Bud had fallen asleep and thought it was 6:00 the next morning and he was late! I think all the kids swimming in the pool should have tipped him off that it wasn't morning.

I've already had that happen where I took a nap and was confused about what day and time it was, but I didn't get into my uniform and go check out of the hotel!

Good thing we were in the lobby or he would have ended up at the airport.
Friday, August 04, 2006

My Friend Noe

Yesterday I ran into my friend Noe in Houston. I was telling another flight attendant about the first time we met, and I realized, hey, "this would be a good blog post".

So it's my very first flight after training. I check in at the duty desk like two hours early. I'm relaxing in the crew room reading a magazine, and I look at my pairing (schedule) and see the time says 1400 so I'm thinking I need to be on the plane by 2:00 PM, I figure I would go about a half an hour early.

So I get to the gate and the flight is already boarding! I freak out and the phone on the jetway rings, it's scheduling. They are scolding me asking me what is wrong with me. I was supposed to have been on the plane a half an hour ago.

Oops, 1400 was departure time. It was my first flight, I didn't know! I get on the plane, and I'm sweating, and almost in tears. The lead flight attendant introduces himself to me as J.R. His real name is Noe, and I like that name so that is what I chose to call him.

I was so upset, I knew the guy for about a minute and he puts out his arms to give me a hug. I say "hold me!" So he gently put my head on his belly as he was patting my back telling me it's OK. (He's way taller than me.)

I wiped the sweat off of my brow, took a deep breath, and we were bonded forever. We never exchanged numbers, and we are both in different bases, but somehow bump into each other all the time with a new fun story to tell.

And that is my friend Noe.

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I wear my embarrassing moments on my sleeve. Thanks for stopping by!

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One nice word, and one smile at a time. - Deanna

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