Tuesday, December 26, 2006

It Wasn't Such A Bad Christmas

Being low on the seniority totem pole, I was stuck working Christmas. By having some seniority, I did get off most of Christmas Eve, and I didn't have to check in until 1445 on Christmas. Fredi and I made Christmas dinner real early and we got to eat our Christmas Brunch before I left for the airport.
It was just going to be a simple Fort Myers turn. Fly 118 people down there, pick up 47 and fly back. Sounds simple right?

Everything was smooth, until "SHE" got on the plane. This woman boarded the plane with an attitude. She was looking to pick a fight with someone. That someone turned out to be me. I was the one in the back galley closest to her seat. Lucky me.

The first thing that happened was she got irritated that I couldn't pick up her trash right away, because I was busy waiting on other customers. After that, she threw her trash in my galley and yelled at me. OK, now I'm thinking this woman is crazy. I just let it roll off my back. She must just have forgotten her Prozac.

The next thing, she stuck her foot out in the isle to trip me. I saw it, and asked her to move it politely three times, she ignored me. I climbed over her leg with a number of drinks in my hand. At this point I'm trying to think in my mind, how I can make this funny? I realize she is probably just jealous.

Then she came into my galley to ask for a spoon, when I told her I didn't have one, she mocked me. I told her maybe they have some in the front. Then this miserable human being ran up to first class to get a spoon, and came back to my galley shaking the spoon in my face yelling and contorting her face "WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS?!" At first I thought, "I don't know, a lunatic shaking a spoon?" But I decided to say just "A spoon." She yelled "I want your name, you couldn't be bothered to get one for me." I said, "Lady, you need to get out of my galley right now and go sit down. You have been making trouble since you got on this aircraft, and I don't want to see your face again, shut your mouth and get out of here."

She stomped up to first class to tattle on me. The first class flight attendant let her know, if she had one more outburst, we would have security meet the flight.

The other two flight attendants in my galley just stood there open mouthed. One said, "You've got balls". I said, "I just told her like it is, I'm not afraid of her, and she needs to check herself, or security will meet this flight and she will be arrested. She's lucky I didn't handcuff her to her seat."

I know I always say this, but it just amazes me how important some people think they are. My dog acts better than she does. I'm not that important, I know that. I call it like I see it, smile, and continue to have a Merry Christmas.

I don't like confrontation, but that doesn't mean I'm a pushover. The look on her face when I laid it out to her was priceless. I finally found the humor in the situation.

When I count my Christmas Blessings, not having her as a relative, is right there on the top of my list.

Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 23, 2006

Bucks and Chooks

I am so surprised that it has been so long since I've updated my blog. It feels like it's only been one week, when in fact, it's been a few.

Because it is our busy season, I have been flying almost non stop. The best place I've been since I've last blogged is Jamaica. I always wanted to go there, and now I finally have.

It wasn't exactly what I pictured, but it was beautiful anyway. After we got to the airport, our driver came to pick us up and he was able to find us, which I was really thankful for, because that place was a zoo. The drive on the opposite side of the road, and it was just utter confusion with hundreds of people swarming trying to get a ride.

On the way to the resort, our driver was nice enough to stop and get us some jerk chicken. The place is called Scotchy's and it's just outside Montigo Bay. I don't think I saw a single sidewalk. It was stone everywhere. Scotchy's like the rest of the place is real primitive, but the chicken is the best. At thirteen US dollars for a whole chicken, it better have been the best.

All along the road there were shacks, and I was wondering what they were for. It was like sticks put together to make the shacks. They were restaurants and stores. They were primitive but cool.

The resort was nice, and it has it's own private little island for laying out in the sun. I managed a tan, and got to go kayaking which always makes me happy.

At the end of the trip, I exchanged one US dollar into Jamaican currency and ended up with sixty two Jamaican dollars. That was the most fun I've ever bought with a buck.

I wonder where they will send me for Christmas.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Mod Squad

I was on this beautiful three day trip. It was awesome. My crew was cool. We were like The Mod Squad. One blonde girl, one Russian dude, and me. We bonded like glue and would walk through the airport terminals all in a line next to each other with our roller bags.

We were out at our West Coast base, which shall remain nameless. We are East Coast based, and the two bases think they're rappers and we often clash. As me and the mod squad are walking through the terminal as if we are on a mission, other West Coast crews are whispering and pointing. "They're from (East Coast Base which shall remain nameless.)"

Our uniforms are the same, but at our base we break all the rules. I wear big hoop earrings, Russian dude wasn't wearing his required jacket, and Blondie, had her hair blowing in the wind. I think our West Coast Base is more by the rules because that's where our corporate headquarters is located.

We roll down to a flight attendant break room, and we don't know the code to get inside. Russian dude knocks on the glass door to a male flight attendant who is on the computer. This flight attendant gets up, walks across the room, and then points to a sign that reads, "Same Code as Crew Room." He then walks back to the computer and sits down.

Russian dude bangs on the door, and says "You've got to be freaking kidding me! Let us in! We're not based here, we don't know the code!" The male flight attendant lets us in, then tells Russian dude, "Shut you're pie hole!" Then Russian dude says, "You want me to shut you up? Lets go right here!" The other flight attendant shrank back to his corner.

Never have I heard anyone older than ten say "Shut your Pie Hole". For the rest of the trip, anytime my fellow Mod Squadder said anything, I told him to shut his pie hole. Hilarious that East Coast, West Coast rivalry.
Friday, December 01, 2006

Note to Self:

So I'm on my way to Phoenix last night, and the turbulence is out of control. A customer who refused to sit down after repeated announcements falls flat on her face on the way to the restroom. Don't say I didn't tell ya.

So here I am sick from turbulence, and we are in between services. I know in five minutes I have to take the beverage cart out again so I'm stuffing my face full of Chicken trying to feel better. We got a break in the bumps so me and Santa roll out the cart out to pour some drinks.

After the service I go into the restroom to wash my hands and reapply my lipstick. I look into the mirror and I've got mayonnaise all over my face. Cute, princess. Note to self, don't go into the isle without checking a mirror.

At first, I thought my crew was a bit dull, turns out they were just tired. Oh how wrong I was. The lead flight attend he looks just like Santa Clause. He dresses like him too to make the kids smile. He's got the glasses, the Santa hat, suspenders, and a Christmas tie. His card even has his picture with him as Santa on it. I'm going to scan it and post it here when I get home this weekend.

The first class flight attendant, she is a designer of gorgeous leather bags. I'm looking at hers drooling, because I'm a bag lady. I love them. The only thing I like more than bags is shoes.

Another flight attendant I met last time I went to Las Vegas. She is a jewelry designer. She flys all over the world scouting precious and semi-precious jewels for her jewelry. She designed a wrist cuff for Chris Angle at the request of his sylist. I'm starting a collection of her jewelry. She met me in Cleveland the day before to bring me a necklace I just had to have.

I have to keep reminding myself, there are some really fabulous people out there. I need to stop forming an impression before I know the facts.

Search This Blog


I wear my embarrassing moments on my sleeve. Thanks for stopping by!

My Current Fixation:

Making The World A Better Place
One nice word, and one smile at a time. - Deanna

Want to Hear me tell the stories?

Things That Make You Go Hmm, To Go