Monday, May 14, 2007

I haven't got time for the pain...

I am stuck in bed and feeling guilty. That's probably what got me here in the first place. I am always wanting to do more, and if I rest, I feel guilty.

Saturday I ended up in the emergency room of the hospital. I had been feeling tired for about a week. I was having these dizzy spells. I would lose my balance, and almost fall down. I just thought it was that I wasn't eating enough. I had recently lost weight, partially because I was keeping myself so busy, partially because I have gone raw vegan.

Regardless, I wouldn't allow myself to rest, I kept pushing myself to work and exercise. I always think I am so invincible. I do feel like I am you know. I am always getting stronger and feeling better. I am learning how to listen to my body. I just messed up this time.

I laid in bed shaking for hours, I couldn't get warm and I couldn't get comfortable, everything hurt. My hair hurt. I didn't have a fever, but I felt as if I did. Fredi convinced me to go to the hospital. It turns out I have a viral infection and acute bronchitis.

ME? SICK? I never got sick until I started this job. I guess all the crazy hours and being locked in a tube with sick people while I jet set around the world is taking it's toll. I can barely lift the weight that is my body, but nothing hurts. I just feel tired.

Tomorrow it's back to work, and you better believe I will be paying more attention to my body!


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