Sunday, October 09, 2005

Jeff Corwin flies right under the FCC's Radar

So I was watching Corwin's Quest yesterday, and I couldn't believe some of the things I was seeing. As I watched in Horror, I couldn't bring myself to change the channel. The episode is called "The Bear's Hunger" . Jeff Corwin is in Alaska tracking down a Kodiak Bear. As he gets close, he stumbles upon some bear dung. He pokes around it with a stick, and finds a fish bone in this bears poo. Jeff then proceeds to pick the bone out of the poo with his fingers. He sticks the bone in his pocket and calls it a toothpick! Can you say EWWW.

We then flash to The Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Jeff is eating a nice meal, and at the end you see that he has food stuck in his teeth. Jeff rips off his tuxedo stripper style and is wearing a wetsuit underneath. He then jumps into the ocean and lo and behold on the ocean floor is an oxygen tank. Jeff straps on the oxygen tank and swims around until he finds a Cleaner Shrimp. He makes the shrimp go into his mouth and clean his teeth. Suddenly that fish bone doesn't seem so gross. If this weren't appalling enough, after the cleaner shrimp crawls out of Jeff Corwins mouth, he puts it back in and makes it do it again!

At one point of the episode, we are spying on Proboscis Monkeys. Now I know where they found the inspiration for Alice the Goon on Popeye. I'm sitting there staring at this bizarre creatures nose, and I realize, the monkeys sword is out of its sheath! Where is censorship when you need it? It seems to me they should blur that section out of the video or not show it as such a close up. I'm sure when they were in the editing process somebody noticed it. They thought "hey, lets see if we can get this past the exec's without them noticing". I guess it worked.

The last thing that sticks out from this episode is when Jeff Corwin begins tracking the bear again. He is holding some scat in his hands saying "I know there is a bear close by, this is fresh and hot." I'm thinking "is he talking about a Dunkin' Donut Munchkin or a piece of bear dung"? He then opens his mouth and starts to put it inside, and then decides against it. It was at that point that I thought, maybe this isn't happening. Maybe I've just lost my mind. And then I realized it is happening, I'm completely sane and Jeff Corwin is just the Howard Stern of Animal Planet.


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