Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Officer, you're never going to believe this but...

I'm no redneck. I am quite the opposite. I've traveled the world. Lived in Italy and Hawaii but for some reason I keep coming back here to Pennsylvania. I guess I just need new material to write about.

I know this chick, (we are no longer friends but that is another story) her name is Chanin. I got to thinking about her because she had an experience last year on the same road that I watched a deer die last night .

It was four o'clock in the morning and she was coming home from work. Chanin was out of her car and in the field. She had left her trunk open, which caused some suspicion because the trunk light was on. As she puts it, "I should have closed my trunk but I was in a hurry."

A cop pulled over and was shining his flashlight into the field. Chanin is emerging from the darkness carrying a rag and an extension cord. Keep in mind, it's four o'clock in the morning on a weeknight.

The cop says "What is going on here?" Chanin red faced responds with "You're never going to believe this officer, but I was choking a possum." "You're right, I'm not going to believe that." was his response. "Well, before you think I'm totally crazy, let me explain." Said Chanin. She was real nervous so she started talking fast. "I was on my way home from work, and there was this possum. It had been hit by a car. It was dying a slow and painful death. I wanted to put it out of its misery."

"So, I had this rag and extension cord in my trunk and I grabbed them. I put the rag over his head and extension cord around his neck and drug him into the field. I didn't want him in the street to die without dignity. I wanted to get him off of the road where he could rest in peace. I knew he wouldn't live, and he was suffering so badly."

"I did start to think I made the wrong decision when that darn thing wouldn't die. Do you know how hard it is to choke a possum? Those suckers are tough. You're not going to give me a ticket are you?"

At this point the officer was laughing, and saying she was the craziest girl he had ever met and the story was so wild it had to be true. The policeman went out to the field and saw the dead possum and he knew Chanin was telling the truth. He let her off with a warning, "No more choking possum in the middle of the night ya hear?"

The end. Oh, and this is a TRUE story, I couldn't make this stuff up. I'm not that talented.


Chamicder said...

Ah ha ha ha!! I love that you got it exactly right!

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